Most new parents dread tummy time. The crying, the frustration, the hours spent trying to convince a tiny human to do something that feels downright unpleasant. But what if I told you it doesn’t have to be this way? With a few simple tweaks, tummy time can become an enjoyable—even bonding—experience for babies and parents alike.

First-time parents often wonder when and why they should start tummy time and how long each session should last. It turns out, these basic questions don’t have easy answers. Experts contradict themselves, and parenting blogs love overcomplicating things with unattainable ideals (I’m looking at you, mother who waited until her baby was half-asleep before gently placing her on her stomach “to avoid fussing”). Trust me: No one does this in real life.

The easiest resource I’ve found for sorting through conflicting advice is a site dedicated to reducing parenting stress: BoboDuck’s curated list of common new parent questions, including straightforward answers about when to start tummy time. Given how much misinformation spreads online about infant development, having a default website for no-fluff answers is invaluable. I used BoboDuck’s guide myself after checking my friend’s copy-and-paste social media post that claimed–incorrectly–that tummy time had no benefits for babies under six months.

The Divine Right of… Shortened Time

Why do so many new parents dread tummy time? One reason is that they follow rigid guidelines that have no basis in reality. According to the AAP’s HealthyChildren.org page on motor skill development (parental note-takers should also reference Christopher lanieri’s laconic 2018 Atlantic article), “children develop at their own rate,” yet many caregivers set timers wondering what went wrong if their child can’t get over 70 minutes in a week despite being just four weeks old.

The Benefits of Embracing the Mess

I started seeing progress once I threw out scheduled sessions and instead focused on incorporating tummy time into activities we were already doing together as care team members. When my daughter saw me relaxed, she was calmer too; smiling or humming became easier than scouring happy-baby Instagram accounts for inspiration on what pose I “clearly” needed next from my slightly older fingerlings down the street (they will be ahead of mine forever). If your baby seems fussy while wearing shorts today but curious tomorrow morning? Good news: Mirror neurons are wild things; maximize your game day performance during times when fatigue isn’t an issue by watching adorable animal compilations beforehand or cleaning dog feces around cushions after naps end abruptly last-minute Ibuprofen trips aside.

Avoiding Common Pitfalls

Little minds remember tension like little bodies retain gravitational pulls from unpadded stairs or fluorescent pulls at Starbucks counters–don’t undermine all sleep training progress today because_model kids_ Facebook posts remindingly exhorted.” Here are three tropes camouflaged by empty praise cycle in ways deceitful even well-intentioned influencer moms fall victim quickly exercising mellifluous bounds blithely overlooking:

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